RETURN TO Carry On Tuesday

Saturday 16 October 2010

Carry On Tuesday Plus # 75

The Italian Job (2003) the trailer

Some memorable quotes 

Skinny Pete: Look, if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s not to mess with mother nature, mother-in-laws, or mother freaking Ukrainians.
Steve: You blew the best thing you had going for you. You blew the element of surprise.
[Charlie punches Steve]
Charlie Croker: Surprised? It’s over when I say it’s over.
Charlie Croker: You’ve got no imagination. You couldn’t decide what to do with all that money, so you had to get what everybody else wanted.
John Bridger: How are you?
Charlie Croker: [shrugging] I’m fine.
John Bridger: Fine? You know what “fine” stands for, don’t you?
Charlie Croker: Unfortunately, yeah.
John Bridger: Freaked out…
Charlie Croker: Insecure…
John Bridger: Neurotic…
Charlie Croker:
And Emotional.
John Bridger: You see those pillars over there?
Charlie Croker: [looks behind him and sees the pillars] What about them?
John Bridger: That’s where they used to string up thieves who felt fine.
Charlie Croker: After you.
[Lyle isn't answering Charlie's calls]
Handsome Rob: He only answers to “The Napster” now, Charlie
Charlie Croker: Oh, no. I am not calling you The Napster.
Lyle: Why not? You call him Left Ear.
Left Ear: Well, I am.
Lyle: And him Handsome Rob.
Charlie Croker: Well, that’s because he is Handsome Rob!
[Lyle provides narration for the conversation between Handsome Rob and Becky, the girl from Netcom Cable.]
Lyle [as Handsome Rob]: Hello, I’m… Handsome Rob.
Lyle [as Becky]: Hi, I’m Becky. It’s on my shirt, see?
Lyle [as Handsome Rob]: Listen, I’ll need your truck and your work shirt.
Lyle [as Becky]: Perfect, I’ll give them both to you. Would you like my virginity as well?
Lyle [as Handsome Rob]: Well, if it’s on the menu…
Lyle [as Becky]: Oh, you’re so witty! Why don’t you take advantage of me?
Lyle [as Handsome Rob]: You’re not too bright, are you?
Lyle [as Becky]: No.
Lyle [as Handsome Rob]: Perfect.
Lyle: And then he’s just the media darling… He’s on the cover of all the magazines, I should of been on the cover of wired magazine. you know what he said? he said he named it Napster because it was his nickname because of the nappy hair under the hat. But he, It’s because I was NAPPING when he STOLE it from me. He didn’t even graduate.
Handsome Rob: I think it’s time to move on, don’t you? They shut him down, I wish they would do the same to you.
Stella: I don’t go out with strange men. I just met you 5 minutes ago.
Steve: What, I’ll just have to sabotage my cable till we get to know each other better?
John Bridger: You know, Charlie, there are two kinds of thieves in this world: those who steal to enrich their lives, and those who steal to define their lives. Don’t be the latter. Makes you miss out on what’s really important in this life.
Charlie Croker: What are you talking about, John? You’ve been a good father.
John Bridger: Sitting in prisons doesn’t make you a good father. I spent half my kid’s life in prison. Don’t get to be my age with nothing but this, Charlie. Find somebody you want to spend the rest of your life with, and hold onto her forever.
Lyle: [after realizing how much money they have stolen] Woo. Yeah.
Lyle: I got the Holy Spirit… get on it… it’s a good train.
[Steve has pulled a gun, and his armed henchmen have surrounded the gang's van.]
Charlie: What the hell are you doing, Steve?
Steve Bendel: Made a few plans of my own.
John Bridger: There’s nowhere you can go where we won’t find you, Steve. You know that.
Steve: I think that’s probably right, John. [he starts shooting John.]
Left Ear: So come on, gentlemen, shopping list. Who’s getting what? Spare no dirty details.
John: Come on, guys. Take a lesson from an old man. Don’t spend it. Invest.
Left Ear: In what?
John: In gold.

Left Ear: What are you getting, Rob?
Handsome Rob: Ah, I don’t know. There’s a lot of things you can get with a lot of money. You know, I’m just thinking about naked girls in leather seats.
Left Ear: Obviously. See?
Handsome Rob: Suppose I’ll get the Aston-Martin Vanquish. There’s not a lot a girl won’t do in the passenger seat of one of those things.
Lyle: I’m gonna get a NAD T-770 digital decoder with a seventy-watt amp and and Burr Brown D.A.C.’s.
Hansome Rob: [at a loss] Yeah…
Lyle: It’s a big stereo. Speakers so loud, they blow women’s clothes off.
Handsome Rob: Now you’re talking!
Left Ear: Thirty-five million dollars, you can’t get more creative than that, man? I’m going to Andalusia. The south of Spain. Right over there. [points] Get me a big house, get me a library full of first editions, get a room for my shoes… What about you, Steve?
Steve Bendel: I don’t know. I haven’t decided yet.
Left Ear: You haven’t decided yet? Come on, man. Is it the mountain air? Just —
Steve: I liked what you said. I’ll take one of each of yours.
Left Ear: [Laughs] Well here’s to two of everything then!
Cop: Don’t you want to look inside?
Stella: I never look inside.
John Bridger: I’m sending you something.
Stella Bridger: Does it smell nice?
John Bridger: No. But it’s sparkly.
Stella Bridger: [sounding slightly angry] Does it have a receipt